Desolated…

Published March 15, 2014 by Bingo's Mom

I woke up at 3 a.m. forgetting the fact that I slept only at 1 a.m. I brush my teeth and go to kitchen to prepare tea while my mind was blank. I do it mechanically. I arrange laddus that was prepared previous night in a box and pack them neatly. I stood in one corner and watch him doing things. I didn’t feel anything but my mind is still blank.

His taxi is waiting downstairs. He gives final instructions to me and is asking me to take care of myself and Bingo. He bids bye and goes to the lift. I volunteer to accompany him till taxi. I carry his suitcase. I open and close door for him. I wave him bye as his taxi moves.

As I remove my slippers, I notice his previous day’s socks lying there. Something breaks inside. I put them in the washing machine. I see the tea cup in which he had tea just before 15 minutes. I silently pour my tea on the same cup and drink it. I go inside to continue my sleep. I lay on his side of bed and close my eyes. Tears starts rolling even though I do not want to cry. I gather all my courage and try to sleep. By the time I woke up in the morning, I was bit ok.

I woke up Bingo as she has to go to school. She opened her eyes and searched for him. She went to room by room searching him and she started knocking the toilet door thinking he would be inside. There, I broke down. I rushed to kitchen to hide my tears from Bingo.

BD went on an official trip to U.S.A. for 2 months. This is the first time he is staying away for long time. I didn’t feel anything till the previous day night. Even we fought on that day and we showed cold shoulder to each  other. But, now I don’t know how to explain my feelings. It’s only two days since he left but I wish he will return tomorrow. I miss you, BD. Very badly.

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18 comments on “Desolated…

  • Hugs Hugs BM..Every word resonated with me..I remmeber reading that you also have plans of going to TN during this time nah, so, you will also enjoy..enakku my husband 1/2 weeks trip ponaale, one week munnadi lenthey I’ll start keeping a loong face, but as time goes by,(in fact in a day or two), you will get used to it..Bingo is there with you ..yo will have fun with her:)

  • Hang in there BM…. this too shall pass. Time alone is time for self exploration. At least that’s what I do when my husband is travelling. He has been on countless trips for work and now I realise I quite enjoy my independence when he isn’t around. Wonder what that says about me?! Anyway, cheer up, there’s always Skype if you miss him too much!

  • Hugs BM. I can fully understand how you feel. Even with me, I fight when S is here for just two days and spend the remaining days thinking what the hell is wrong with me. Distance is cruel. Hope these two months go off really soon for you. hugs again.

  • Cheer UP…Brave Girl….This little time of distance will bring you guys more closer…It happens with us, when we have more time with each other-we fight more…and when we have lesser time- we cherish it more..;-)…so enjoy your relaxed TN trip with Bingo and take full advantage of communication technology…All d best..

  • எவ்வளவோ சமாளிச்சாச்சு இதை சமாளிக்க மாட்டோமா? எல்லாம் சரியாகும்! அதான் உங்களையே மறக்கடிக்கர மாதிரி அழகுதேவதையா சேட்டைகார பிங்கோ இருக்காளே அப்புறம் என்ன கவலை நமக்கு! Take care sister! 🙂

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