I woke up at 3 a.m. forgetting the fact that I slept only at 1 a.m. I brush my teeth and go to kitchen to prepare tea while my mind was blank. I do it mechanically. I arrange laddus that was prepared previous night in a box and pack them neatly. I stood in one corner and watch him doing things. I didn’t feel anything but my mind is still blank.
His taxi is waiting downstairs. He gives final instructions to me and is asking me to take care of myself and Bingo. He bids bye and goes to the lift. I volunteer to accompany him till taxi. I carry his suitcase. I open and close door for him. I wave him bye as his taxi moves.
As I remove my slippers, I notice his previous day’s socks lying there. Something breaks inside. I put them in the washing machine. I see the tea cup in which he had tea just before 15 minutes. I silently pour my tea on the same cup and drink it. I go inside to continue my sleep. I lay on his side of bed and close my eyes. Tears starts rolling even though I do not want to cry. I gather all my courage and try to sleep. By the time I woke up in the morning, I was bit ok.
I woke up Bingo as she has to go to school. She opened her eyes and searched for him. She went to room by room searching him and she started knocking the toilet door thinking he would be inside. There, I broke down. I rushed to kitchen to hide my tears from Bingo.
BD went on an official trip to U.S.A. for 2 months. This is the first time he is staying away for long time. I didn’t feel anything till the previous day night. Even we fought on that day and we showed cold shoulder to each other. But, now I don’t know how to explain my feelings. It’s only two days since he left but I wish he will return tomorrow. I miss you, BD. Very badly.